TOM GAINFULLY EMPLOYED

Tom emailed yesterday the 6th to say that he had won a position with E*Trade, the on-line stock brokerage house. Unfortunately, I use Ameritrade so I personally have absolutely nothing to gain from his new assignment.

Congratulations! Now Tom and Kate are DINKS just like Jill and me. Welcome to the club, you two!

So, let's put Tom to the test.. Is this his new uniform and can I get sued for posting this picture?



I'll post Tom's reply as soon as I get it!

HEMINGWAY'S BIG ADVENTURE

We also learned recently that Hemingway, Tom and Kate's furry grey cat, decided to go on a roadtrip of sorts last week. It seems he left the house on the 30th without telling anyone where he was going. He turned up three days later about seven houses down in Tom & Kate's new neighborhood.

Naughty Kitty...


He's home safe and sound now, so all is well.

BELLY FLOPS

Well, it appears I'm way behind the times with regard to my ignorance of "belly flops." I posted that Tom & Kate were providing almonds and belly flops for Me-Ma's birthday but had absolutely no clue what a belly flop was in this context. I didn't think it could be the following, but that might have been fun, too:


OR


But, Kate, Tom and Leigh clarified that Belly Flops are in fact defective Jelly Belly's.. the ones that don't quite look right and so can't officially be called a Jelly Belly.

So, I went over to the Jelly Belly website and entered Belly Flop in the Search box. NOTHING about belly flops came up, but I scrolled down a little and there was information about Sugar Free Jelly Bellies. At the bottom of their description, I found these words:

WARNING: Consumption may cause stomach discomfort and/or a laxative effect. Individual tolerance will vary; we suggest starting with a single serving size of 8 beans or less.

Now, do you really think that the average consumer of sugar free Jelly Bellies is going to call it quits at 8 beans?! But then again, gorging yourself on these things makes for an interesting weight loss plan on its own.

CALIFORNIANS VOTING FOR NEW CAPTAIN OF U.S.S. TITANIC

Well, I haven't blogged about it in some time, but the day has come for southern Californians to peel themselves from their tanning beds and for northern Californians to get up without spilling bong water and VOTE.

So, on this very important day for our neighbor to the south, I have just two things to say:

You're voting for Governor, not Chief Executive Choir Boy

If you can't follow simple directions about how to use a punch card (the same one you used to elect Gray Davis in the first place), you have no business deciding who should lead the most economically powerful state in the most powerful country on the planet

Good luck to you. And with that, I'll end with comments from Jimmy Kimmel Live last night after he showed a clip of Ahnuld holding up a broom and threatening to clean house in Sacramento:

I suppose it's only appropriate that Californians should elect a foreigner to clean house

Ah, but you can't threaten him with deportation if he asks for a raise.